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May 27, 2010 / Meg

The Jeans That Made All the Difference

Before & After.

Why are those words so scary to me?  I much prefer Then &  Now.  It has a nicer ring to it, don’t ya think?

Though, it’s making me think of that movie Now & Then.  Did any of y’all love that movie when you were a kid?  My elementary school friends and I watched it quite a few times back in the day.  Good times.

But anyway, I’m working on a special project (to be announced at a later date) that involves before and after pictures.  [I will refer to these as then & now pictures.  It’s so much less intimidating for some strange reason!]  I had absolutely no desire to post these on the blog.  The before pictures are straight-up TERRIBLE and EMBARRASSING.  But you know what?  It’s still me.  That’s who I was almost 20 pounds ago.

But now that I see that number (20), and looking at these pictures, I think I may have weighed even more back then.  I knew that I had gained some weight, but was absolutely terrified to step on the scale.  If you don’t know how that feels, you’re one lucky duck.  It’s straight-up awful.  You’re worried.  You’re scared.  You’re disappointed.  It’s a whole range of emotions that make you feel like you just need to make a change in your life.

Here I am just one year later, and I have felt better lately than I have in my entire life.  I’ve been so happy.  I’ve noticed small changes taking place in my body (definitely getting stronger with Insanity!).  I’ve been eating clean.  I’ve even become a group exercise instructor (something I never thought I’d do!).  All in all, I’ve just felt amazing.

But I’ve still felt reluctant to post the pictures on the blog.  I mean, I untagged myself in all of the pictures on facebook, and if I didn’t even want my facebook friends to see them, how could I post them for the bloggerverse to see?!?

And then, I just started thinking.  Thinking that it’s important to focus on the journey and how far I’ve come.  It really is all about the journey. And you know my favorite show had its final episode this week, so maybe I’ve been inspired by the Biggest Loser finale.

[Can we just for one moment talk about how AMAZING the Biggest Loser finale was?  ALL of the transformations were incredible.  Michael didn’t even look like the same person.  Neither did Ashley.  Or Daris.  Or Koli.  Okay…they all looked totally different.  I think the Biggest Loser is proof that no matter what you dream, you can achieve it.  If you set a goal and stay focused and determined to achieve it, you will. The Biggest Loser is so inspirational, and I’m so grateful there is a positive reality show that truly makes an impact!]

Or maybe it was because I’ve felt just so good lately.  Regardless, I still wasn’t ready to put the pictures up.

Well, this morning changed all of that.  I was running late and couldn’t find anything good to wear to work.  I work at a university and our summer dress code is casual – jeans are completely appropriate every day (unless we have an important meeting, orientation, etc.)  So I grabbed the dreaded pair of capris that sit in the bottom of my drawer.  Last year, I had gained so much weight I couldn’t get them over my mid-thigh.  [I may or may not have broken down into tears when that happened…just saying.] I bought them after I had lost the weight I gained from my knee surgery in college, and a few weeks later I had to get them taken in because I had lost even more weight.  They were my go-to capris, and you wouldn’t believe how often I wore them.  So when they didn’t fit the following summer, it was just tragic.

Now we’re at a year later.  I just tried them on.  Scared.  Terrified.  Unsure if I had made enough progress.  BUT THEY FIT!  Like a glove. And I was in my own little utopia for 30 seconds…until I realized I was already 10 minutes late for work and had to run out the door.  🙂

Alas, here they are [the pants, not the pics yet ;)]

I totally apologize for the creepy locker room pic. No one was there, I promise (I checked like 5 times). My friends had all left work before I realized I needed a picture for this post, so this was all I could do!!

It’s not the greatest pic, but I just had to get the shoes in the picture.  Aren’t they adorable?!?  On clearance at Target, thank you very much.

All thanks to these jeans, I’ll be posting my then & now pictures.  Be on the lookout for them sometime soon.  I’m still a little scared to post them, but if I can fit into these jeans again, I’m pretty sure I can do anything! 🙂

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