Growing up is weird. It’s not really easy. Whether you’re 14 or 24, I think you can’t help but go through stages that feel a little awkward. The only difference is that when you’re 14 it seems like they last an eternity and when you’re 24 they last only an hour or two.
If there’s one thing I could go back in time and tell my 14 year old self [well, there’s actually a whole lot I’d tell myself if I could go back in time 10 years, but that’s another post for another day] it would be this: when someone tells you you’re not good enough, get a second opinion.
There is nothing worse than hearing you’re not good enough. Pretty enough. Smart enough. Thin enough. Practical enough. The list goes on and on.
It still happens though. And sometimes, people don’t even have to say them out loud in order for you to still feel the impact of these words.
I was watching this show I’m way too old to watch called Huge. It’s only the second week of the show, and it’s about these kids at fat camp. The main girl, played by Nikki Blonsky from Hairspray, starts writing a letter to her parents. She discovers she actually likes sports at camp – especially basketball. But she can’t admit it to her parents because then they would be satisfied in her happiness at camp. And she’s the kind of rebellious teen who wouldn’t want to make her parents happy, maybe you know one or two like that. 😉 Ultimately, she ends up tearing up the letter and not sending it, since she can’t possibly admit these revelations.
In this letter, she also writes how she’s never good enough for them. She talks about the dirty looks she gets and how they comment when her shirts are too tight. The fact that she doesn’t feel worthy is again, something she could never admit to them.
It’s really where this whole post originated from. In life, sometimes it’s the people we love and trust more than anyone else who can hurt us the most. Words hurt, period. They have influence, both positive and negative. I personally think that’s one of the reasons why there is such a huge emphasis on the tongue in the Bible. Words undoubtedly make an impact.
When someone tells you something negative, I want you to remember this: YOU are good enough. Smart enough. Pretty enough. No matter what anyone tells you, believe in yourself. And find that second opinion, because someone else believes in you too.
Today, I’m trying to speak truth. I want my words to make a positive impact. I of course can be sarcastic and like to have a little humor too, but not at the expense of some else’s happiness. It’s never, ever worth it [even when you’re trying to be funny].
Each one of us is good enough. It’s not about living up to the size zero standards that are photoshopped in magazines. It’s not about having the highest SAT score or figuring out the answer quicker than your classmates. It’s about knowing you’re worth it, and surrounding yourself with people who believe the same.